How Many Times?

jail_window“My name is Angie, and I’m an alcoholic,” she said to a group on the recording I played in my car. “As I was talking to God this morning in my prayer and meditation time, I looked out the window at the beautiful bay and said to God, ‘I am amazed – still — after 19 years of sobriety, that I get to be used by You when all I did to deserve it was get drunk and basically screw up my life.”

I listened to Angie’s story of being the daughter of a Baptist minister and drinking her way through her former life, serving prison time repeatedly, bearing two illegitimate children, stealing her mother’s heirloom ring to buy liquor, waking up next to strangers and sleeping on a park bench for weeks at a time without a shower or a memory. Now she is addressing other recovering alcoholics for free as an act of service, telling her story because she was asked. Angie…

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Why?

In my bathroom drawer are two curling irons and a blow dryer. I almost never use the curling irons but each day I loosely wrap the cord of the dryer and place it in its home. When I take out a curling iron on occasion, it’s all tangled up in the other two. How does that happen? Those two irons were sitting there. I don’t place the blow dryer under them, in the middle of them or shuffle the cords as I return it. Why is there undoing to do when there was never doing in the first place?             photo

How did Ted’s life get all tangled up when every night I would tuck him into the same bed and shut off the light? I sang Jesus songs to him after we read a book and some Bible with his brothers. Then I kissed him and told him I loved him. It wasn’t complicated. How then did his teenage spirit go missing like the one sock that never came out of the washing machine? I put …

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